Wanderlust: Girl, Boy & Dog Edition
For the last four months I have been traveling in the US with my partner and our dog. I thought it might be nice to write a little bit about my experience and share some of the things I’ve learned along the way.
How did it begin?
A few Summers ago I landed a job in Chicagoland with Galileo Learning (I have written a post titled “Galileo... AKA the best Summer Job Ever” about my experience with Galileo, feel free to check that out). This Summer I was hellbent on getting my partner to come along with me. I didn’t want to spend another Summer missing him and coming home earlier than I could have from adventuring to be with him.
I asked him early in 2018 if he would consider trying to figure out how to spend the Summer up North with me. At first he was unsure he could make it happen and basically said he couldn’t go. I was disappointed but was never one to give up easily. I knew that I was asking a lot of him but I just felt like there had to be some way we could figure it out. He had been at the same job for ten years and was doing very well for himself. I had dragged him backpacking through Europe in early 2017 and we had taken an awesome road trip in 2016, but besides these short trips, he didn't really consider himself a “traveler” (whatever that means), he just happened to be in love with one. I continued to bring the idea up to him every week or two for a couple of months. Eventually, to quote from a book I recently read: “...After a marathon nag session one night [he] slumped on the couch, worn down and I have to admit I felt pretty proud of that.” (The Yellow Envelope by Kim Dinan). Eventually he agreed that yes, it would be pretty cool to come on an adventure with me.
So then what happened?
We didn't know how we were going to do it, but we knew we wanted to make spending a Summer in a cool faraway place work. Don’t get me wrong, there was definitely a lot to figure out. We both had separate leases in our hometown of Pensacola, FL and we both had been at our current jobs for many years (my day job was extremely flexible and for the previous two and half years had let me leave and go on trips up to three months long and come back and work while I was in town).
Believe it or not, after we got on the same page and really decided that we were determined to make this Summer work, the most interesting and magical thing happened. Somehow, the Universe was suddenly on our side and things just started to line up. Due to a very strange and unforeseen set of circumstances, my partner was able to end his lease months early at no extra cost. He eventually told his job his plan and it took them awhile but by his last night people were crying and wishing him luck and basically saying “YOLO”, they even threw pie in his face (a long-running tradition out of love). I was also able to end my lease early without too much harm and told my job that I was going on the road again. Half of my coworkers just said “Oh she’ll be back”, but a few who knew me well realized that this time that I was saying “Hasta Luego” for real. After giving away countless truckloads of our stuff and taking inventory of basically every possession, relationship and belief we had, it was finally time to leave. We departed for the Chicago area feeling free, scared, excited and nauseous, stuffed into a tiny car with most of what we owned and a dog. We thought when we left we would be back in about two months or so. But it’s now been four months and we have even more adventures planned for the rest of the year.
Now what?
They say that when you travel you find yourself and I know that to be true. Even though I have been backpacking, road tripping and workaway-ing for years I had been doing it (mostly) on my own. I have been to Europe six times and have traveled around the States since childhood with my cool hippy parents and three siblings, but this time was different. Never mind that our furry friend was accompanying us, I had never traveled long term with a partner (or a dog) before.
I could write about this for, like a very long time but for the purposes of keeping this less than book length I’ll share below some of my biggest takeaways from our trip so far:
-If you are scared shitless to do something, it's probably a good idea to at least try it (within reason). Sit with your feelings of being uncomfortable, you won’t die, in fact you’ll probably grow a ton.
-Expect the best but plan for the worst. Obviously I didn’t come up with this one but boy is it true. Make sure when traveling you always budget an “Emergency fund” for those awesome, crappy situations that arise when you least expect it.
-Happiness starts within and then bleeds out to the rest of your life. Whatever is going on, even if it seems less than ideal, try to find the positive part of it. Don’t cheat the present. Soak it all up, even if your brain is judging it as “bad”.
-Monotasking is so important, slow the F down and try doing one thing at a time for a change. Remember you might get hit by a bus later today, or as Ferris Bueller put it “Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you might miss it.” Enjoy “the now” of your life, it’s really all you’ve got.
-Even when traveling with a partner, alone time is important. Resolve to take some apart each week or whenever you feel it's necessary.
-Nurture your friendships from afar and feel connected to home because of this. I have posted more letters while away from home than I ever would sending fun notes and birthday cards while in my “normal” life. These little pieces of the journey are also so fun to look at when you return home and trust me, your friends will love it!
-Whether you have a dog or not, short walks a couple of times a day can do wonders for your mental state and mood.
-Speaking of the pup, traveling with a dog will definitely increase your costs a bit but it is so worth it! I had no idea how many dog-friendly hotels are all over the place. We have had no problem finding reasonably priced dog-friendly hotels, however air b and b was a bit more expensive to book. We had to stay in a couple of air b and b’s while our house in Evanston, IL was becoming available. This was an unforeseen cost but we made it work.
-Have many different things in your life that “make you tick” instead of putting all of your eggs in one basket. I’ve heard Tim Ferriss and others talk about this and on this trip I’ve really taken this to heart. Basically, if you only focus your energy in one direction then when that thing isn’t going so well it’s easy to become depressed. If you have for instance, a physical practice, a passion project, a job and other things to get you out of bed in the morning then when things at work suck, or when you can’t seem to meet a goal you have then you can still be happy and motivated about other things in your life. On this trip I have prioritized reading a lot of books and practicing yoga everyday. This helps me to feel grounded even if I am in transit and things feel weird or upside down sometimes.
-Shopping at farmers markets makes you feel like you’re a part of a community (See post titled “Farmers Market Fun”).
-We may be “poor” money wise but we are so rich in experience. I’m so glad we are doing this because it’s worth millions to me #yolo.
-Coffee is an extremely helpful addiction and yay its legal!
-Dishwashers are awesome. Ok, I know this sounds ridiculous but I’ve never had a working dishwasher in my house and they totally rule. I spend a great amount of time in my kitchen and having dishwashers on this trip has been awesome. DERP!
-By venturing out of our physical comfort zone of home, we had conversations we may have never had otherwise. Being on the road and unfamiliar with your surroundings does make you vulnerable, but you are open in a way you just cant be when you think you've got everything figured out.
-High altitude sunburns are real. The one time my dumbass forgot to put sunscreen on before several hours wandering around a flea market at 6,000 ft, I paid dearly for it.
-Haters gonna hate. This silly adage is so true. Quite a few people expressed their displeasure at us leaving our stable, conventional lives to go kick around in the world for an undefined amount of time. I hate to admit it but sometimes this really hurt my foo foo’s (feelings;). I wanted acceptance and support for our decision and when people rejected me or didn’t understand why I would ever want to leave home in the first place I actually questioned myself a little. Over time though, I have realized that people are going to do and think what they want and I just have to accept that. Yeah it hurts when the people closest to you obviously don't “get it” but I’m not letting it stop me from trying continually to live the life I’ve always wanted to live (I can hear my bestie Pepper shouting “DO YOU BOO BOO” in my head right now).
-Andersonville, the neighborhood in Chicago, is one of my favorite places on Earth.
-You may think you know someone, but when you travel with them you will know them so much more deeply. This can be a good and a bad thing. I am still shocked that after spending four months straight almost everyday with my man, I’m still not sick of him yet (I know, I know this is dorky to say ;p).
-When the Aspen trees are changing colors and showing the first signs of Autumn I almost like the mountains as much as my beach back home...almost. It’s super pretty.
-Alternating between city life and country life is nice and lets you appreciate both. After two and a half months in the Chicago area, we came out to the mountains of Colorado and have been staying in a quiet cabin with no internet. It has been surprisingly nice to unwind and take things at a much slower pace.
-Last but not least I have come to understand: If not now, when? Seriously, there is never really a perfect time to make your dreams a reality. Trust the process and jump. Make moves toward your greatest dreams NOW!
Even after all of these major shifts in my awareness I continue to learn and grow everyday. I am so glad that I chose to ignore my many fears and make this journey a reality. I have no idea how long it will be until we settle a bit and get back to some semblance of “normal” life but honestly I worry about this less and less each week. I know that I’m doing what I must do. There is plenty of time for shoulds later.
